A plea to all drivers on behalf of all runners, particularly in foggy weather

Please drivers listen to my pleas:

• Do NOT drive over cattle stops when we are on them...it makes our legs spasm and we feel as though we are about to die or the world is ending (LOUDLY).
• You create a SMALL HURRICANE when you fly past us at great speed. If we are beside a cliff go AROUND us. Just pretend we are real people and falling off a cliff might have consquences.
• We have to wee. We just do. Pretend you don't see us. It's better for everyone that way.
• If we have a minor GAMMY FALL or are so pained and tired that we walk, do not pull over and ask if we are okay or if we want a ride. We could not possibly want a ride more but we will never accept and though we look like we are dying we should survive (Please note this does not apply if arms are bent in the wrong place, there is excessive blood or we are losing consciousness).
•  Drive SLOWLY in the fog. I know it is funny to watch us scamper in your headlights but we have feelings too and though we may move like spastic rabbits we are human. Hard to believe I know. (Note: if you would like to try the oh my goodness I am about to be hit by a ute dance it goes like this: small step left, leap right, look up at rampant vehicle, 3 small steps left, small step right, leap left off road, watch driver laugh on way past and give a gammy wave). 
  

A small story for your entertainment. Running along on Sunday we are up on the road, look left to see some poor woman weeing by the road. She looks up, grins with very embarrassed look on her face. It's got to be done. Run for hours and my running partner needs to wee (ALL THE BLIMMIN TIME). It is an extremely exposed area, not even any tussock but hey we have seen noone for hours. Go for it. I am standing on the road when I see a shadow running out of the fog. I laugh out loud at how ironic it is that NOW is when we see someone. Who is it? The weeing lady. She looks down off the road, sees my friend doing exactly the same thing. "I know that feeling" she says, "I know you do" I think but "Got to be done" I say. Ah honour among runners.